hey friends. I've been wanting to touch base for a while.. Life is okay. I have been doing the 4 hour dialysis sessions 3 days a week since I first got sick in February, and I guess I've gotten used to them as much as possible. The 3 days add up to 12 hours and that's pretty much a day of your life gone every week, sometimes more since you're pretty wiped out afterward. It's rare that I do anything more than have dinner, watch television, and go to bed after a treatment. So far I've been able to put off the perminent access that would be in my arm..right now I still have the access in my chest. It's all so weird. Before this year I was not very familiar with dialysis..now I keep meeting strangers that have had it or know someone who has it..I've even met a dog on dialysis! I met someone at a garage sale who had a transplant recently, she too had a sudden disease attack her...I met someone at a vintage store who had to have dialysis..it's nice to know I'm not alone, ha. At my center, I am currently the youngest patient by far, so it feels kinda nice to run into strangers who have been closer to my age, and even interests.
I have had some good news. My heart is back to normal! This is great because I was really stressed out about that. In the hospital I had cardiologists jump the gun and tell me that I'd very possibly need a defibrillator put in. It terrified me. But the heart is a muscle! And it bounced back! This also was a key factor to being able to receive a kidney transplant.....which I will be receiving! My mom and dad are both matches, James and I have the same blood type, and my brother would be a good match too...but my mom is the lucky one, haha. She is related to me, and it's very likely that I will need another transplant someday, in which case hopefully my brother will be able to donate. So she has just begun the process to further test to make sure she can give it up. I am hoping that the surgery can be done before the holidays, but we really don't know at this point.
I haven't yet been able to start up Nice again. It's weird how I don't have much free time, yet I don't feel like I'm accomplishing much. I guess between taking care of myself, hospital visits, boyfriend time, packing, relaxing, haha, it's hard to know that I can commit to making and sending out packages in time. I was so, so busy before I got sick, and I know I could not handle that volume currently. I am hoping to have a soft launch soon, but life has to settle down a bit more before that. Did you notice I mentioned packing? James and I have put an offer in on a small fixer-upper out here! Can you believe it? Life has changed so much. If everything goes well, we will close on it at the end of this month. Our apartment lease in Chicago is up the same day, so things could get really nuts. A year ago- even half a year ago, I never would have thought I would be heading to live in the suburbs. James was the first one to bring up the idea and he was okay with it right away. It took me some time to get use to the idea..we both ended up bringing up talks about whether this is a good idea or not. But it's not the end all be all. Owning a house doesn't mean you have to stay there forever. He and I have always been on the same page with changes, and thinking about our life together, I just feel so happy inside.
The town we've chosen is about 30 minutes away from where my parents are. It's along a river and it's a town with possibilities, we think. It's a town that doesn't feel like you're in the suburbs, really. There are places to walk and bike to. The house is adorable and we know we will be happy there. We both feel a bit tired out by the city..I know I personally am valuing family time a lot more than usual, and especially time with James. It has been so hard for us to live apart during all of this. It's also been hard on James to do so much driving- from work, to the apartment, to my house and back. After the transplant I will need some care, so it will be good to be close to my family. I will have to frequent the hospital downtown for check-ups, so I will always have my mom to go with me which is so nice to know. I don't know yet if I will be able to have children due to the chemotherapy, but I know if all is well, just having a kidney transplant would make it a high risk pregnancy. It's a lot to take in, but I know that I've always had adoption in the back of my brain. It's something I haven't begun to look into, but maybe it will be an option for us at some point. Who knows what the future holds! Right now I am excited for James and I to make a home of our own.
Have any of you made a move from an urban area to a not so urban area? I'd love to hear your story.
I have been using Pinterest (join me!) a lot to sort of keep up on things and be inspired. I've been shying away from blogs and such because they seem to overstimulate me! It's hard to read about what other people are doing- it makes me happy, but it also just makes me like, over-excited? I want to get back in it all, but I'm not there yet, so I end up feeling a bit frustrated. But Pinterest has been good because it's a small dose of what's going on in the world..and I just love seeing all of my pins together! haha
So yeah, Nice will come back. Perhaps even under a different name! Who knows. I still have tons of ideas constantly swimming around my brain, so I am so excited to get making things again. I will let you know a little secret, I have been able to fill small orders, providing the timeline is doable for me, so if you're interested in something, please don't hesitate to contact me (email or etsy). It keeps me super motivated!
And thank you all again SO, SO MUCH for all of your well wishes, stories, and comments. At times I have felt very left out and just alone..your messages have helped me a great deal. <3 br="br" nbsp="nbsp">